The Lunch

Alone, but with a group of couples.  Ever been there?  It is weird right?  It is especially strange for those of us that have spent the bulk of our adult lives sharing meals with a partner and their children. 

I honestly until recently hadn’t really thought about how deep the losing of a partner can be on simple ordinary activities.  Everyday things no longer seem normal.  It is awkward and can be incredibly uncomfortable.  Debilitating for some.

Couples and families when at restaurants ask one another what they are having for lunch and discuss sharing options, likes and dislikes, stories of past restaurant experiences and options to order two meals and share. Normal.

All the while you sit in awkward observation and begin feeling a bit like you are watching a movie.  You are just the eyes of the camera.  You are taking in the couple’s interaction, smiles, laughter and enjoyment of their experience. 

Its literally as if you had never realized the depth and significance of your own human interaction with a partner during a simple thing like Lunch. 

Lunch, how could Lunch trigger such emotion?    Lunch

You are supposed to be ordering lunch.  The realization of being alone overtakes your thoughts of ordering a meal, so you wind up with Oatmeal and jalapenos.

Processing separation from a partner for a woman is an interesting journey. Particularly for women that love with all their hearts, built their lives around their families and have always considered themselves strong.

I you are with a woman that is on her journey give her grace and understanding that Lunch for her is another representation of her loss and can be as painful as the actual loss itself.

Colleen Marie DeShazer

 (Teaching awareness to Loved Ones for Women Experiencing a New Life Alone)